If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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