I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
