I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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