So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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