Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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