I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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