All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
