They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
