dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
