Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
