I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
