Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
