come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
