At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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