i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
