That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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