if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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