So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
