I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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