I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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