I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
