ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
