I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
