It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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