i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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