omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
