Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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