Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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