Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Will you blow on my dice?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
