I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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