She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We have so much sex to catch up on
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
