Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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