would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
