Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
