hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
