Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
