WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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