My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
