Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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