nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
