I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
