If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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