id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
