Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Your penis caused this!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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