I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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