He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
