i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
