When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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