Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
