how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
