my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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