How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
