; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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