YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
