I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
